The article entitled “It is still
Beauty before Brains” written by Chok Suat Ling is not an excellent item. Firstly,
certain parts of the article need to be elaborated in order for the article to
be clearer for the readers. Although sufficient illustrations were given, they
were not relevant to this case.
Secondly, it is not precise and
unreliable. Basically, the author penned out all her opinions and added some
examples in order to make her points appear solid and relevant. However, she
did not state the sources of her examples and that triggered the readers to
question the extent of accuracy of her article.
Next, there is no correlation
between the paragraphs in the article. Her points were brief and not well
structured. Moreover, there is an absolute contradiction between the first and
the last paragraph, thus making the article appear inconsistent.
I agree with you that the examples that the writer gave should be given its sources. For instance, the name of the women magazine, the name of the newspaper or website on which the content of the interview between the reporter and Rebecca Adlington can be found, etc etc.
ReplyDeleteYet and yet, we can not say that it is not an excellent piece of work. No one is perfect and the word "excellent" is pretty subjective to me. All of us are still improving. (:
Carmen, could you please define excellent as a subjective term to you?
ReplyDeleteWhat I mean is, you might feel that it's not an excellent work, but not everyone will feel the same as you. It's just like the saying "beauty lies in the eye of the beholder", though excellent has got nothing to do with beauty.
ReplyDeleteFor me, I like articles or essays with more descriptions and opinions, rather than just facts and proofs. But not everyone likes articles like this! Maybe I didn't answer your question, maybe I have. But what I'm trying to say is, since this article is published, don't you think it is at least something worth reading?
Or maybe, if you had the chance to read the other articles that were not published, you would say to yourself,"If I were the editor, I will publish this!", because you think that it is better than the published one.
We judge a work based on our own opinion and preference. So maybe you do have the right to say that it's not an excellent piece of work. Haha! What I mean is, the word "excellent" is defined differently for different people.
I don't have a complete definition of "excellent" for myself, but I am sure that you and I will use this word to compliment different things. (:
I however think that there is indeed correlation between the paragraphs. For example, the first few paragraphs are mostly about the achievements of women and all the hardships they have to endure just to be recognized in the eyes of the world. The writer is simply trying to state her point that women have come a long way and they have already proven time and again that they are capable. She then went on to question the public's behavior in overlooking the great things that women are capable of doing just because they do not have the appealing looks. The writer then elaborated on the effects of the public's insensitivity towards women by judging them by their appearance. She clearly expresses her distaste for beauty pageants as the contests arouse insecurity in women. The insecurity they feel causes them to be more than willing to take various measures to change the way they look just to fulfill the public's standards of beautiful and as a reassurance for themselves. So basically, the writer started off by stating the capabilities of women, followed by the elaboration on the judgment of women based on their looks and later, the effects of such attitude towards women.
ReplyDelete